Well, I Guess I Just Don’t Know…

Here are four shows worth noting:

1.  Thursday March 22:  Purling Hiss are playing tomorrow night in Boston.  Only problem: the show is at The House of Blues, opening for Dr. Dog.  And it’s 30 bones.

And it’s at the House of NO MOSHING, recently re-named after a controversial pit at a Flogging Molly show caused Boston police to poop their pants and fine the shit outta the club.  I don’t feel like detailing it here, that scenario is a joke in itself.  Besides, The House of Blues is easily the worst venue in Boston, maybe in the whole world, they should be fined for consistently being a buncha assholes, dating back to the Avon days.

Not that I’d be moshing to Purling Hiss.  My physical reaction to their music would most likely resemble Beavis and Butthead’s:

Purling Hiss are so fucking good, I can’t believe all the aforementioned circumstances will prevent me from attending tomorrow’s show, but sometimes I gotta stick to my ethics, folks.  30$ is a ton of cash.

They played Castlevania Providence last summer with Sic Alps, both bands absolutely destroyed while all the Castlevania kids ran around in their undies, squirting each other with supersoakers.

A far cry from The House of Blues, indeed.

Also, are Dr. Dog good?  I remember trying to listen to them five years ago while in college and immediately wishing I was sleeping.  Or falling asleep immediately, can’t remember which.

2.  Friday March 23: Flaming Dragons of Middle Earth at Firehouse in Worcester with Styk and SET

Flaming Dragons of Middle Earth are from Turners Falls – Western MA represent!  On Feeding Tube Records, if that means something to you, congratulations, you are also a nerd!

This band was voted ‘most likely to disturb Rick Santorum’ in their high school yearbook:

I think I’m going to this.  Sincerely the most bizarre thing I’ve seen in a while. *That’s a compliment.

3.  Royal Headache announced they will be playing PA’s Lounge in Boston June 15.  They have a rad Elvis Costello/Ted Leo power pop thing going on.  I love their self-titled debut from last year.  Here are a couple songs:

4.  I was perusing The Met’s site and noticed there’s a band playing sometime soon called Reptar, named after the Rugrats epic dinosaur hero, I presume.  Brought to you by 95.5 WBRU.  I knew I should’ve been apprehensive.

But I decided to see if they were good.  I had assumed The Beets weren’t good, and their records feature surprisingly tight garage pop nuggets of freedom.  And their moniker’s taken from another great TV show of my youth, Doug .

Early Nickelodeon 90s cartoons are totally in now, dude.  I love making money off nostalgia, fuck yeah.

Unfortunately, HOLY SHIT REPTAR FUCKING SUCK!  THEY’RE FUCKING WATERED-DOWN VAMPIRE WEEKEND!  THAT’S MAYBE WORSE THAN DUB-STEP!!!!!!!!

AND THEY’RE RUINING A PERFECTLY GOOD BAND NAME!

Seriously, though.  This is the reason why Vampire Weekend were so awful for modern music: they spawn shit that’s even worse.

This is the genuinely worst song I’ve heard in a long time.

Save your money, instead go see Purling Hiss, Flaming Dragons of Middle Earth, and Royal Headache.

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